The ego or ‘why do I really want to manage money?’

When I returned from New York, one of things I told people was that I wanted to run a fund. I had not done that in New York but I had moved money around, built investment theses, tracked investments and generally been part of the global financial system. So I felt comfortable in saying it

The truth is that I discovered in New York that most fund management is painful and stressful. Obviously it can be well-compensated. And I had experience in a new area – ESG and sustainable investing which meant that I could begin a journey towards fund management in that area.

However, the proof is in the pudding. Having been back 12 months, I haven’t pursued fund development. i seem to be more caught up in projects through consulting and trying to build an analytical tool. I still tell some people (fewer and fewer each month) that I want to start a fund but its not central to my discussions now.

I think, in some form, it was a cover for my feelings of inadequacy. I wanted to be thought of as a big shot and managing money, in this financialized world, is a big shot type of job. But here I am, not doing anything about it. That should be a clear signal about my priorities.

And I am taking that signal.